So tonight had a horribly rough Organic Chemistry exam. Rough is a serious understatement actually. Detriment, massacre, f***ed over experience is more like it. I was doing so well...someone confident in my answers then a girl asked a question, got me thinking my answers were wrong, so I changed them (come to find out changed them to the wrong answers) and used the time to change them to completely forget about the last page of questions. So I failed and I know I did. I don't know what is worse: the exam you think you passed and then you fail, or the exam you know you failed. Who knows?
That's not what this is about though. I have decided, with the help of my loving stepmom, that I won't let this test hold me down. This test will continue to be a failure in my eyes unless I learn from it. So what have I learned:
1. Stick with your gut....ignore everyone else and trust your instincts. God has blessed you with a brain so stand firm in that.
2. Answer all the questions you know then stress about the ones you don't.
3. One exam (especially since I can drop one) isn't going to hurt you.
4. You and your life are more important than an exam.
5. Now you can empathize with your students and friends who don't do well on exams.
6. Even if you get a B in O Chem you have A's in all your other classes. You will learn that you can fail, get back up and do fine. And you will learn a B isn't failure.
7. This doesn't mean you are doomed to do poorly. Unless you keep telling yourself you are because then you will.
8. By not letting this affect your food tomorrow you have won a victory greater than any A could give you.
So this exam (though it gave me the worst panic attack I have had in some time, caused me to be a jackass to my friend and mom, and caused me to try like an idiot) won't hold me back. I will learn, I will move forward, I will turn to God, I will go to sleep, I will wake up tomorrow and continue living. Take that O Chem....you do not control me. Take that Perfectionism, you can't judge me anymore. Take that ED, you can't take every bad day and claim victory. My God is stronger. My God lives in me so I am stronger. I will survive this and I will move on :)
Wow it sounds like you learned a lot of valuable lessons. One thing I have learned is i always go with my gut. I do this all the time t work..I know something isnt quite right and just go with it. Glad to see you realized that one test, class isnt the end and be all of the world. When you graduate nobody really cares if you got all A's or if you got all C's. They just want to know that you are qualified for the job. I believe everything happens for a reason and I guess this did for you too! Keep up the good work and stay strong!
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