My finish lines

I decided if I am going to be fighting towards recovery I need to know what it looks like. A runner doesn't go into a race without a goal time or goal of finishing. They know the path ahead and know where the finish line is. Since recovery is very much like a race (hills included), I need to know what the finish line looks like.

My ultimate finish line has me married to an amazing husband with kids or at least dogs. I have a white lab coat on and a stethescope around my neck with an animal control emblem embroidered in my scrubs. I am saving animals and using them as therapy dogs for eating disorder patients. Of course this finish line is more like the Boston Marathon finish line because I have a few years till I'm done with vet school (or even in vet school for that matter).

My half marathon finish line: I don't see a nutritionist or therapist and only go to the doc for thyroid checks and when I'm sick. I am running 5Ks frequently, accept myself as I am, go to cycling regularly, and have my TOM back. I can go into any restaraunt or any event and eat whatever I want without worrying about what it does to my body. Food is a part of my life, but it isn't my whole life.

My 5K finish line: I am able to run and cycle for the most part whenever I want. I don't have to see a therapist or nutritionist as frequently. I am more comfortable eating in restaraunts but still glance at the nutrition before going in. I don't rely on pre-planning my meals and snacks. I am not on a meal plan anymore and instead am doing intuitive eating. I can run 3 miles. I am learning to accept myself. I am free of the threats of being kicked out of school.

My 1K finish line (more immediate future): I am approved to run. I am at my goal weight. I still plan out my meals but am learning that it is okay to eat beyond my calorie goal when I am hungry. I have no fear foods. I am going out to eat at least once a month and trying to challenge myself when I do. I am training for a 5K, lifting weights, and not getting caught up in how I look. I am losing my perfectionist tendencies.

I will admit I still have a long way to go even to get to the 1K, but I know it is possible. Every day I will get stronger, be able to push myself farther, and eventually will be able to run for recovery for a figurative 1K, then 5K, with practice a half marathon, and finally will be running the marathon of life with recovery pushing me forward.